Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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