How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
