If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
