friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize