I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
porn star boner night. come get it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
