the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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