high people should be assigned attendants
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
