Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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