2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.