Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS