My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.