seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
