There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
