Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
