Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
