I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
