I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
