What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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