Sponge bath it is.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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