loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Mom said you looked used
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
