fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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