At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
handjob tips. give me some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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