know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
