PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
