Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
