Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
