i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
