im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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