Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
