you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize