Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
