I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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