How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You ate ashes out of my bong
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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