if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
