Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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