I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
