I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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