if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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