You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So apparently I’m into choking now
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
