Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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