paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
