I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
