i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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