I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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