Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
