Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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