he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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