I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize