office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
