Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
