For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
