Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
