pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i think i have two assholes
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Everyone says I win the strip club
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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