I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
