its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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