I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Pants are for mortals
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