I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
