Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Come share oat with me in your robe
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
please don't ironically join a cult
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