Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
