when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
