All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
