Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
